Deep Connection: 4 Things to Talk About to Keep the Spark Alive

 

“How are you?”, “Where have you been?”, “Have you eaten?” these are just some of the common conversation starters of Singaporeans and even most of us, all over the world. Strange as it may seem, these are also the same, exact greetings we use when we greet our loved ones, to whom we have deeper connections. You can do better than that!

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Conversations, especially in relationships, bring people closer. More often than not, good talking habits breed disclosures which can lead to greater intimacy and connection. When you have been in the relationship for quite some time, you and your partner may find yourselves at loss for topics to talk about that it may seem boring and dry. Relationships without intellectual stimulation can grow stagnant, so start tickling each other’s brain. When you wander through these refreshing topics, exchanging of words with your partner will go beyond the typical “how is your day?” introduction and will dig a more meaningful communication between the two of you.

  1. Travel Bucket list

The world is a very huge place! Discovering each other’s travel wish list, meeting halfway, doing it one at a time or whichever way you guys want is almost an endless topic to discuss about. It will also hone you and your partner’s soft skills in planning and organizing trips which can be a way to practice teamwork, after all, it takes to two tango.

  1. Compliments

It’s a golden rule in psychology, that when we are appreciated of what we do, we tend to do more! No matter how long you have been in the relationship, do not forget to remind your partner how much you appreciate and value him. Let him know what you like most about his personality, character or talent that stands out from the pack. You can complement them about an achievement or sweet thing he did the earlier week. Regardless of how big or small it is, compliments are BIG deal.

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  1. Erotic Fantasy or Sex Talk

If you have reached a relationship level where talking about sex is not a taboo, then this might be a good starter to spice things up. You can open up some of your erotic fantasies between the sheets or naughty thoughts. This will be an interesting and fun way to exchange your never-talked-about imaginations while giggling. If conversations get a little farther, you can share each other’s favorite sexual positions, fetish, or whatever it is that would turn you on. Just make sure you are not creating stress to your partner by expecting and demanding him/her to act out anything.

  1. Preferences

Sometimes, the little things count the most. When you and your partner’s preferences are not well defined or discussed, this can cause harm to the relationship in the long haul. This topic need not to be that serious, you can make it fun by initiating Q & A with your SO’s likes and dislikes. After all, the more you know what your partner prefers, the more you get to know them and get a hold of how to take care of the companionship.Couple-talking

How to Speak in Front of a Crowd

 

Once in your life you will be invited to talk in front of a crowd – as a successful alumnus of the university, as the best man in the wedding or as a representative of your company. Most of us experience stage-fright when talking in front of a number of people. But with enough preparations, one can breeze through talking in public without the jitters. These are five easy-to-follow rules that will come in handy once you are invited to speak in front of a crowd:

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  1. Know your expected audience. When you are invited to do a speaking engagement, the first thing to take into consideration is your audience. Who will be listening to you? Prepare your speech in such a way that it will be easily understood. If you are a technical person who will be giving a talk about your project to non-technical persons, you have to choose the words that will make them clearly know where you are coming from.

If you will be making a toast for a best friend’s wedding in Singapore and you are from a different country, do not use your native dialect; use the universal English language instead. This is essential so that the beauty of your talk will be realized.

  1. Practice your speech by delivering it out loud. Do not practice by just talking in your head. Words must come out from your mouth because reading the speech and talking it out are two different things. Practice out loud in front of a mirror. Or you can ask a friend to listen to you. Incorporate the proper pronunciation, intonation and pauses. Talk slowly and clearly. In addition, practice giving emphasis on the strong points of your speech. When you master these all, you will be good to go!

 

  1. Dress appropriately. When you dress according to the occasion, you will be confident to speak. Be sure to check the theme of the event. Make sure you are wearing comfortable clothes apt to the occasion; otherwise, you will be focusing on your outfit the whole time rather than on your speech. Remember that your audience are already impressed with what you have to say. When they see you stand in front, oozing with wit and confidence, you will surely capture their attention more!

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  1. Interact with your audience. Because you are already familiar with your speech, it will be easy for you to look at the audience most of the time. A speaker who looks down on his notes all the time will make the audience uninterested no matter how good the message is. Make eye-contact and interact with the crowd. Talk like you are just conversing with the audience. This will make them listen as you pique their interest from start to finish!

 

  1. Try to enjoy yourself. Just like any other pursuits, a positive result is guaranteed when one enjoys doing it. Always remember you are invited to talk because you are the most qualified person in the room to do it. Enjoy the time as everyone in the room focuses on you. When you make an effort to show your audience how happy you are while talking in the center-stage, all the jitters and nervousness you first felt will be gone.

 

Keeping all these tips in mind will calm your heart while you talk in front. When you are in your best dress with the copy of your best speech, nothing can go wrong. This opportunity of being heard by many does not come every day. Make the most of the experience. Seize the moment wherein you can inspire others.

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How to Reinforce Your Self-Esteem  

 

Not all Singaporeans have high self-esteem. There is no one to blame but ourselves. Self-esteem is very important in the conduct of everyday lives because it serves as our core or backbone. Self-esteem refers to appreciating oneself for what we are regardless of the faults. Without this, we are merely a drifting paper.

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Other cultures do not tackle self-esteem but it is time that we learn everything we can about it – start by learning how to reinforce your self-esteem. In school, family or work, self-esteem is crucial and therefore should not be ignored. There is a big difference between a person with a healthy self-esteem and who doesn’t.

The simple acknowledgement of what you are can go a long way. Here are some tips on reinforcing your self-esteem:

  • Take an inventory: Telling yourself “I suck” or “I am a total failure” will not do good in your self-esteem. This is telling yourself a lie. Just know that we all suck from time to time and the solution is not to wallow on grief and disappointments. Instead of wallowing, why not spend your time writing your strengths and weaknesses? The list will become your self-esteem inventory. The goal of this activity is simple – it will help you realize what you are and what you are not. If the task is too difficult, you can ask the help of the people around you.

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  • Stop comparing: The golden rule is to stop comparing yourself from others because there will always be better than you. You have to accept that or be forever disappointed. Unfair comparisons will surely hurt your self-esteem. It is hard not to take notice of other people but you have to remember that the only person you should be contending against is yourself.
  • Be enthusiastic to adjust: Every now and then, you have to adjust your self-image. As you go along, you will realize your potential. Adjusting is important to match your current skills and abilities. Do not dwell on the past and base your self-esteem there for life is a constant change.
  • Set aside perfection: You have to accept that you cannot simply perfect everything. Perfection is unattainable. Knowing this, you have to let go and accept that you are not perfect at all. Do not revel on the idea of perfection because it will only disappoint you.

Remember that persons with healthy self-esteem feel good about themselves, appreciate their worth and take pride in their accomplishments without other people reminding them. They are also aware that though they are not perfect, they do not let it overwhelm their lives and affect their self-image.

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