How to Overcome the Pain Brought by a Toxic Relationship

You’ve finally done it and left your toxic relationship behind. But what about getting over it? The breaking of any romantic relationship – particularly a toxic relationship – can leave an unbearable pain on both parties. However, getting over with that pain is actually easier than you think. Here, we’ve rounded up some tips on how you can overcome the pain and be a better version of yourself.

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  1. Rebuild Your Self-Esteem

It may seem ridiculous to some, but take time to tell yourself that you’re beautiful, smart and worthy of having a good life and relationship. Say it out loud or in your mind, in the car, shower or wherever you feel comfortable. If necessary, come up with affirmation that you can repeat to yourself on a daily basis.

Reaffirming your self-esteem can be difficult, especially after being in a toxic relationship, but it’s essential to remind you your worth as a person.

  1. Get a Support System

Whether or not your family and friends serve as a good support system, you can create support for yourself. A study conducted by a group of health experts in Singapore showed that having a hobby, exercising and meditating can help you cope up with the pain you’re feeling right now. Just make sure that you take part in an activity that interests you. Whether its aerobics, swimming, yoga or meditation – whatever activity appeals to you most is the one you should be doing.

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  1. Meet New People

Your best friends might be a good support system during this time, but it is often through meeting new acquaintances that you get to rediscover yourself and move past the pain. Putting yourself out there and making new friends opens new doors and shuts out the pain involved in your negative memories. You might even find a person that offers a fresh perspective on your situation that could help you get over some of the residual pain.

  1. Learn to Ask for Help

Contrary to what you may believe, asking for help during this time is okay – and no, it won’t make you look weak. Asking for help will make you stronger and enable you to counter the lingering pain. Those who truly care for you won’t dismiss or judge you for asking help. Instead, they’ll be cheering for you every step you take to overcome the pain your past relationship caused you.

Although overcoming the pain of a toxic relationship might seem like a battle that you can’t win, believing in yourself and investing in a good support system will surely help you minimize the pain, and eventually leave all of it behind.

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How To Know If You’re in an Abusive Relationship

An abusive relationship can affect your sense of self, your individual freedom, and your overall self-esteem. Most Singaporeans in an abusive relationship do not know that they are in an unhealthy relationship until it’s too late for them. Victims of abuse are not able to identify right away that they are being abused as they mistakenly think that their partners are only being extra possessive or passionate. The form of abuse in a relationship is not strictly limited to physical assaults. Abuses can be in the form of emotional, verbal, financial, and even sexual.

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When Your Partner Shows Signs of Over Possessiveness

Jealousy is a sign that your partner loves you but when taken into extreme, over possessiveness is a common telltale sign that your partner is abusive. You are in an abusive relationship if your partner restricts your movement, stops you from meeting your friends, doesn’t allow you to meet with other people, demands your time, and demands that you report to him everything that you do.

When Your Partner Frequently Accuses You

Abusive partners are overly suspicious and will frequently accuse you for every little thing that goes wrong – and even when nothing is wrong. Abusive partners cannot trust you and will always doubt and suspect even your innocent moves.

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When You Catch Your Partner in Multiple Affairs

Your partner don’t need to pass all criteria of what it means to be an abusive partner in order to determine if you’re in an unhealthy relationship. Catching your partner cheating on you once should already be a wakeup call for you. Catching your partner in multiple affairs can be a sign of an abusive relationship but regardless if it’s abusive or not, this is already a sign to call it quits.

When You Suffer From Public Humiliation

You’ll know that you’re in an abusive relationship because your partner doesn’t hesitate and would often humiliate you in front of other people. There’s also no way of knowing when your partner will be displeased and erupt into one of his or her fits. You shrink at the thought of meeting friends and family members with your partner because you’ll never know what will happen next.

When You Are Physically and Sexually Abused

Another obvious signs that you’re in an abusive relationship is when you suffer from physical and sexual abuse. There should be no legitimate reason why you should suffer physical abuse from your partner. You should also be able to say no when you don’t want to engage in sex.

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How to Keep a Happy Relationship

There’s no such thing as perfect relationships but relationships can at least be a happy one. A happy relationship does not mean couples don’t encounter problems. They do but they just don’t harp on the negative aspects. Instead, they follow certain unspoken rules that keep their relationship on a solid track. Many Singaporean couples also dream of a lifelong romance and fear following down the paths of most famous Singaporean celebrities who have only gone their separate ways. If you want to keep your relationship happy, here are some guidelines you may want to keep in mind:

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Never ever consider breakup or divorce

Ever noticed why divorce rates have only spiked in the recent years but minimal in the good old years of our grandparents? That’s because divorce was not available to the country then and so it has never been an option. Couples who end up in divorce (and have been through several divorces already) have such fate because they always think that divorce is the solution. You’ll have better chances of succeeding in your relationships if you just completely eliminate the idea of breakup or divorce.

Learn to make the most of imperfect situations

Struggles and challenges are part of life so don’t be surprised when you find them in your relationships, too. Successful relationships were never exempt from headaches and heartaches but couples have learned to overcome them together by seeing each other as their own teammate with a common goal. When you make the most of imperfect situations, you allow each other to grow in your relationships.

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Have an open honest communication

Open and honest communication is always the key. It is said that there’s no conflict that good communication cannot help solve. So if you’re feeling something negative toward your partner or there’s anything that you want to say, express it right away. Don’t let your emotion build up over time until you’re no longer able to express it positively.

Show respect and care for each other

Familiarity breeds contempt and in some cases learning to disrespect and take each other for granted. Don’t let this be the case in your relationships. Genuine love is when you’re able to maintain your respect and show your care for your partner no matter how familiar or comfortable you both get with each other.

Be each other’s cheerleader

You are your partner’s best friend and a best friend is always there to lend a helping hand, a shoulder to cry on, and acts as a personal cheerleader. Encourage your partner’s dreams and ambitions and show that you’re willing to cheer him or her up whenever needed.

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